Inexplicable things happen in football. Scott Pendlebury cannot pick up a ground ball and plays his worst game in years and all insist he is not injured. Alex Fasolo cannot miss last year, cannot kick a set shot this year. Meatloaf is chosen to sing.
Collingwood knew what not to do and were told what not to do against St Kilda. Then did it.
Collingwood knew what not to do and were told what not to do against Essendon. Then did it.
Collingwood knows what not to do and were told what not to do in the wet. Then did it.
The messages as they were relayed did not get through.
Confidence is positively and negatively contagious. When it disappears it leaves behind a clouded polluted mind, when it grows all suddenly becomes clear. Collingwood is playing with a foggy mind. It is a coach's job to clear the fog.
Players knew they must run and carry the ball at pace, but didn't. Players who can kick exquisitely on Bob Rose Oval cannot kick on the oval on the other side of the train tracks. Players who can make smart quick decisions make dumb ones when people are watching.
All of this is not the coach's fault, but equally it's not not the fault of the coaches.
Missed set shots at goal are not the coach's fault. Until it happens every week and then it is the coach's fault. Or if not his fault then it is his job to understand why and help the player fix it. Collingwood is afflicted by a series of problems that do not directly suggest the fault of any one person (other than Alex Fasolo's yips). But one person is entrusted above all others - at all clubs - to pull it together with an answer.
Collingwood make it easy for other teams to win. Collingwood would like to play Collingwood right now.
They have a chicken and egg problem now in the connection between two-thirds of the ground and the last third. Or as the late John Clarke would have said of Collingwood now: "The front fell off."
Collingwood's problem is the ball movement is so slow and the turnovers by foot so regular the forwards don't know where to run. But the forwards not knowing where to run makes the ball movement slow, twitchy and hesitant. The bad kicking, well, that is more scrambled egg than chicken or egg.
In part, it is personnel. Not that they are the wrong personnel - save for Jordan De Goey who has one more week in purgatory, this was about Collingwood's strongest team in a year or two - it is the way that personnel is playing.
Darcy Moore is adrift in the forward line, dropping chest marks he is playing as if second-guessing his every movement. (That is, he is playing like a lightly framed third year player playing as a basically lone key forward.)
On Tuesday Levi Greenwood marked at half-back over the back of Essendon's press and with the field in front of him he stopped. There were no lone or leading forwards obviously available but stopping was not the answer. Fast ball movements worry defenders more than forwards and right now Collingwood's forward line has enough worries.
Ben Reid was flipped forward from back midway through the third quarter as an emergency move that Reid himself had the day earlier said the club would resist doing. When he then did shift only his upper body got involved in the job. He waved his arms for the ball but didn't run enough to be alone to get it.
Travis Varcoe was moved behind the ball last week to improve disposal coming out of defence. Asked after the game if more personnel change there was needed Buckley offered that "Smithy" would come in this week.
The first query for many would be "who's Smithy?" Then upon realising it's Josh Smith who was dropped last week for poor form the query was - other than allowing Jackson Ramsay a bit of me time in the VFL - how was Smith to significantly improve the side's ball movement out of defence from the first five games, four of which he played in?
The list of trials in Matthew Scharenberg's career is well thumbed and he is yet to establish at the level as a result of those injuries but he was drafted as a smart player and good ball user. That should set him above some others so he would help with disposal if not speed.
Collingwood does not have the fast creative rebound runner like Jayden Hunt or Zach Tuohy on their list. They need one. They hoped Ben Sinclair would be that player - he has the speed for it if not the reliable kick - but hamstring injuries and concussions have halted him.
Rupert Wills is a big-bodied player and might come into the midfield this week. But he has played five games. He, too, is not going to make the big difference. The problems at Collingwood are clear and known, for they repeat weekly. Time is running out for coach and club to deliver the answers.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE MAGPIES?
* Collingwood have kicked a wasteful 52.71 - an accuracy of just 42 per cent. The second-worst are St Kilda at 44 per cent, but the Saints have kicked 10 more goals.
* The Magpies' leading goalkicker is medium forward Alex Fasolo, equal-22nd with nine goals.
* They are fifth in the league for inside-50s, but third-worst for scoring.
* Anzac Day was the second time this season where Collingwood have had more scoring shots than their opposition, but been beaten. In round one against the Western Bulldogs, the Magpies also had more disposals, clearances and inside-50s - and still somehow lost.
* It is four years since Collingwood's leading goalkicker posted more than 50 goals - Travis Cloke's 68 in 2013. Last season, Fasolo led the team with only 25.
* They only have one Ben Reid. With Lachie Keeffe still being overlooked for senior selection, the swing man is having to play mainly in defence.
* No.1 key forward Darcy Moore is only 21 and has kicked just three goals this season.
* Injuries are no excuse - Collingwood's list is healthy. Among their VFL players on Sunday were Matt Scharenberg, James Aish, Chris Mayne, Jarryd Blair and Keeffe.
* Collingwood are working hard enough - they are fifth for contested possessions, fourth for clearances and third for stoppages.
* The skipper is not at his best - since racking up 30-plus possessions in his first two games, Scott Pendlebury's output has tailed off. He managed only 20 disposals on Anzac Day - a match in which he typically shines.
* So far the lucrative deals that brought Chris Mayne and Daniel Wells to Collingwood are not proving good value for money. Wells did - belatedly - make an impressive club debut on Anzac Day, while Mayne has kicked only two goals in three matches.
With AAP
